MUCH LONGER

I know it's over
I know it's gone
Can't work it out much longer It's only getting harder

It's time to say goodbye
I just can't help but cry
I wanted us to make it
But I guess we couldn't fake it

Much longer
We couldn't make it last
Much longer
This love is fadin' fast
And I know that it's time for me to start letting go
'Coz the love you have for me no longer shows
And even though it hurts I have to face the truth
That no matter what I do
There will be no me and you
Much longer

I did my best to make it last
'Coz it's all I ever wanted
But you took my love for granted
You took your time
Makin' up your mind
Thinkin' I would always be there
But I really couldn't hold on

Much longer
We couldn't make it last
Much longer
This love is fadin' fast
And I know that it's time for me to start letting go
'Coz the love you have for me no longer shows
And even though it hurts I have to face the truth
That no matter what I do
There will be no me and you
Much longer

Much longer
We couldn't make it last
Much longer
This love is fadin' fast
And I know that it's time for me to start letting go
'Coz the love you have for me no longer shows
And even though it hurts I have to face the truth
That no matter what I do
There will be no me and you
And we'll never make it through
Much longer

Last day of November.....Another year will be starting pretty soon! But before that...December is the busiest month for me!
I put up the Christmas tree and other Christmas decor, such as wreaths and lights, this morning...one of the things I love to do every year!
Then I went to the bookstore and my timing was really great... most items were ON SALE... I bought a book for my bestfriend as my present for her this holiday season...
I need to finish this stack of Christmas cards I need to send by tomorrow....whew!

A whole week of fun and relaxation is over and FINALS is drawing near.....Three more weeks.. three more weeks...

It's my dad's birthday on Friday and we are going to give him a party... I've been thinking about the dishes I can cook but with my very hectic schedule for this week, it'll be hard for me to find time to go grocery shopping....oh well... it's for my dad so I guess I need to make some adjustments...

One more thing.... this Spring semester's schedule is driving me crazy! I don't know what classes I need to pick! and whenever I choose a class that might interest me...the schedule won't fit with my availability!!! Whaaa!!!!! I need to resolve this by tomorrow, coz my registration date is on Wednesday!

I am so bothered with lots and lots and lots of things that I need to accomplish!!

Good night!

I am tired!!!!!!!

I went shopping but I need to return some of it tomorrow....

Good night! I will be working early morning!

Happy Thanksgiving

I am so proud of myself right now! Yeah really!.. My first time to do the turkey as we all know that it is the main dish on Thanksgiving...Wow! I did it right!...next year I promise, It'll be better!...I didn't put any stuffing in it but I roasted it just right! and I made the gravy form scratch, too!!!
I am so full!!! I helped my Lola prepare the ube halaya which I know how to make it now, btw...We also had barbecue, calamari, grilled bangus, and fruit salad! Oh.. for dessert aside from the ube, we also had pumpkin pie and buko pie! Yummy!
Then the whole family played SCRABBLE while waiting for our food to be digested. LOL.

I need to go now.... I have to wake up early tomorrow for the THANKSGIVING SALE!!! That's right!!!! it's early bird specials!!! got to be at the malls by 6 AM.. coz the sale will end at 11AM... this is my most awaited shopping day every year coz the prices are really really LOW!!!!...which is great...for Christmas' gift giving!

Good night!

Good Morning!!!!
I am now ready to cook for Thanksgiving!Also, I will be helping my LOLA to prepare some other dishes!!!!

Got a call from SDSU's School of Nursing... about my application...I hope this time.. I WILL CONQUER!!!! Hahahaha!!!

I have this so much SPIRIT in me today! I just woke up feeling happy! and I spread my happiness at work! what a very nice feeling!!!!

I'm bored!
After I cooked our dinner I have nothing to do but to slack in front of the PC... BTW, I cooked ginataang manok and tinola.. both chicken menucoz my mom asked me, too... My LOLA is gonna be here pretty soon....so I have to cook dinner for us! And also, she will spend Thanksgiving with us....

I still don't know how to roast the turkey....I want to bake some sweet potato pie which is my favorite Thanksgiving menu by the way...The only thing is... I don't know how to make it!!!!!!!
Anyways, I can DO this!

My car is nice and shiny again!

I didn't go to work! I ate Vietnamese food last night.. and that gave me belly ache...Arrgh..

Good thing though... I can clean my car... and do stuff for school...

I am so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will be working full time this week... but I'm glad I will not be working on Thanksgiving!

Got to go...I need a rest!

He wasn't there!!!.... what a relief.....
I think there's really something wrong with me...sometimes, I just feel that my self esteem is low and it needs a boost!
But I thank God because I have my family and friends who keeps on backing me up whenever this feeling strikes.... telling me I can do it! I appreciate them so much!!!!!!!

I need to get start with my Christmas shopping...I will be requesting for extra hours this week so I have enough $$$ before Christmas...We have no school for this whole week so I better get my butt to work double time! *sigh*

I've been browsing the schedules for next semester thinking of the classes I need to take....and I can't decide what to take except for Physiology and Abnormal Psychology which are necessary....I am not fond of History classes neither Humanities but I need to choose on either one...Ah! History forces you to memorize bunch of dates, names and places which is not my thing! maybe I'd go for Humanities, just take Mythology...

I also want to take a vacation before the Spring semester starts... probably on January....but I don't know where!...Oh well....

Just got home... from a birthday party....

I attended my CPR class earlier today...I took it from American Heart Association and I didn't like the way they organize their class compared to the American Red Cross from last year's...it was really chaotic...I was a little pissed because we didn't take the test simultaneously... the first ones who finish the skills will be the first one to take the written test, too... and the group I was assigned to...was the last one to finish because the instructor wanted us to state everything we do in details!
And guess what? because we didn't take the test all at the same time, some students who went to go first can't keep their mouth shut! considering that some other students are still taking the test! Aaargh.....I can't concentrate! I told one of the instructors about my complaint... and he was sorry... I just wish they have this survey I can fill up....

********
I'm scared....
While at the party, my aunt told me that the church's ensemble is looking for singers coz most of the members before had been very busy with family life and it's hard for them to go and attend the scheduled practices...
I am a little hesitant coz I don't have that much confidence in me that I will do good in the team... I am more on a soloist kinda singer...and I might not be very good at harmonizing....I know...I can try though... who knows that God might have given me that talent but I wasn't able to use it right...
One more thing though....the leader of that ensemble was my one and only EYE CANDY (as my froggy body calls it) and that was the most scariest thing for me to do... REmember, I can't stand being with him for quite a while because of the tendency of melting???? so that was it....
Let's just see what might happen next....this is totally making me so nervous!

Good night!

It's been a very long week for me!
Thank God there's no school next week....to make way for Thanksgiving!
I can't stop yawning in class and all I need was to get two toothpicks to keep my eyes open!........
Brrrr... it's cold....I hope I have the time to go to the mountains to see some snow...I wish we'll have one but I think that's gonna be impossible!.......
Tomorrow will be another busy day for me....I have my CPR class in the mornings then I'm gonna attend a birthday party...
Oh... I haven't seen The Matrix yet....I need to see that before school starts... for sure it will be hard for me to put that on schedule coz the semester's gonna end soon and you know it'll be freakin busy!

Good night!!

Nights are longer and the days are getting shorter...

It's hard to wake up in the morning when this season starts....and it's also difficult to go in the shower!!!! It's freakin cold!

This is the time to have self control especially when it comes to eating! There's Thanksgiving where you will have turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pies, (I prefer sweet potato pie than pumkin pie) served at your dining table.... Then Christmas where you have ham and maybe turkey, too...NEw Year's Eve afterwards......

A time where I spend too much on my credit cards!....Aargh...!

But the special thing with this ocassions, are the time spent with each family members around the dining table....after a while of living in the US, having dinner together rarely happens...I am looking forward to these feastive ocassions!

Today will be one of the most memorable experiences in my entire life.....

I was stationed at the maternity section of the hospital and I was told that I will be seeing a Caesarian delivery.....I didn't do anything.. just observed to see what's going on...
I wore a special scrubs then all masks, booties, and the thing you put to your hair (I forgot the term)....then off I went to the delivery room....
The first part was really aweful...seeing all the things the doctor's need to do with the mommy...and I was so shock to see that they use a very humongous needle to put the anaesthesia in!!! It was almost half a ruler...6 inch long!!!
I am thinking how hard to be a woman going through stuff like that...
But the best part after the slicing (hahaha what a term), was to see a newly born baby....it makes you wanna cry....
I don't want to be the one doing the slicing and stuff in the future but I want to be the baby's nurse...
She's (the baby) so cute by the way.. with chubby cheeks, those cute little hands and feet...Ohhh.. so adorable!

********
Switching gears....
I did my presentation in class... finally, I got over it! and I can say I did a good job...although the powerpoint in school is an old version so some of my animations didn't work but still, it went well....
And about my test I mentioned a week ago, I got an A so I don't have anything to complain about...

Good night!

******
reminiscing........I remember these songs way back when I was attending FEU....
I checked out some stuff that I need to get rid off.. and I saw my old tapes...yep.. it's not in CD's yet... and I played it...memories started to rush in my consciousness...


SENTI MODE......ON

To Love Again
by Dingdong Avanzado

the radio's fine, it helps me forget for a while
i look back and recall those days i had with you
sometimes i need a friend just to make it through
another day is spent without you

you, you gave me all the reasons to live
but then you have to go
and I just got to let you know

its hard to love again
just to make it through another day is spent without you

and i don't wanna go on pretending
that it's gonna be a happy ending
if I should love again
once i learn to love again
and though it will never be the same without you baby
this pain inside is driving me crazy
coz it's hard to love again

friends are great they cheer me up for sometimes
but when the day is gone
my mind is back again with you

oh God I need a friend
just to make it through another day is spent without you

chorus
yes it's hard to love again

Friend of Mine
by Lea Salonga

I`ve known you for so long
You are a friend of mine
But is this all we`d ever be?
I`ve loved you ever since
You are a friend of mine
And babe is this all we ever could be?

Refrain:
You tell me things I`ve never known
I shown you love you`ve never shown
But then again, when you cry
I`m always at your side
You tell me `bout the love you`ve had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you`ll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again I`m glad

I`ve known you all my life
You are a friend of mine
I know this is how it`s gonna be
I`ve loved you then and I love you still
You`re a friend of mine
Now, I know friends are all we ever could be

You tell me things I`ve never known
I shown you love you`ve never shown
But then again, when you cry
I`m always at your side
You tell me `bout the love you`ve had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you`ll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again
Then again
Then again I`m glad

Wish I Could
by Dingdong Avanzado


i wonder where you are right now
wish i could see you somehow
can't seem to ease the pain
since you've been gone
nothing's been the same
how i wish you could have stayed awhile
how i wish that i could see you smile for me
CHORUS:
wish i could hold you in my arms
keep you safe and keep you warm
but now all i can do
is hope and long for you
you're in my mind every night and day
wishin' you're part of me in everyway
'coz all i wanted to do
was to always be there for you
i wish that i could tell you
just how much i love you

i guess i should not fear
'coz i know
God can hear
and He's telling me
you're alright
and there's no need to worry
oh my baby, i am so sorry
if i had known maybe you could have lived here with me
REPEAT CHORUS 2X
i wish that i could tell you
how i love you

I went to buy stuff yesterday that we need to send in a BALIKBAYAN box. I bought lots for the kids, like socks,hair clips, and baby shoes....then I gave it to my mom coz she knows who needs it.

That's it, my mind is hollow today, can't think of anything to write about!

I went to the gym after class...there was this Black guy who keeps on staring at me...I was doing my 30 minute cardio and he was there 3 feet away using the threadmill. Then I went to do my sit-ups and he moves to the "other abs thingie" besides me....I started to notice that wherever I went he follows.... finally, I went to move in some other machine and tried to avoid him but still he went on the other machine besides my machine. I decided to just leave the gym...Darn! he was freaking me out!
We always have to be careful nowadays especially the ladies out there!

-------------------
Winter is here already!!!
I know coz I can't wear shorts anymore when I go outside!
My coats and jackets needs to be out from my closet! It took me several minutes to get rid of all the mist in my car so I was late for school this morning! Thank God my instructor wasn't there yet!
I wanted to watch the Side A and Freestyle concert but then my friends cannot ditch work! Too bad, I am dying to see and hear them play LIVE! So I'm here at home, sitting in front of my laptop and just doing my presentation for Tuesday!
BTW, I went to BESTBUY last night to buy the Microsoft Office software. I was amazed with the 2003 version of the software especially with the Powerpoint! Mahn! it was so cool! On the contrary, I have to spend $170 for the software and my micromini optical mouse!

Good night!!! Have a nice weekend!

Can you just ask????? What's wrong with asking??? If you confront someone about something then that person might think of you as someone who is against the world????
If you've been very nice to someone, that someone might take advantage of that kindness and it gets into your nerves!!! What's up with that????
Now, you will come to a point wherein you don't feel being nice anymore coz you're afraid that people will take advantage of you....but then...I don't feel good when I'm not nice....and it will only bring me a guilty conscience....The question is... how will you tell that he/she should stop taking advantage of your kindness without him/her thinking that you are in fact a very mean person????

This saying is so true!... You cannot please EVERYBODY ( as I stand corrected )


-------------
I was so happy everytime I hear from a friend when we lost connection for sometime...This friend of mine who I haven't heard from him for almost 5 years now called me. It was so great! especially bringing back all the memories....I'm glad to be a member of alumni.net....this site really helps to find long lost friends and even some acquaintances....

What some grapes?
Last night, we had a surprised visitor, it was my brother who was stationed in Leemore, CA... he was with the family we visited and attended the funeral in Bakersfield. They bought a case of grapes, and there was 12 bags in it! It was my first time since I moved here to pig out and give up eating it....I haven't tasted wine but I think, that much grapes gave me a kick!

---------
This mornine while I was attending my patient, My Bloody froggy buddy called.... I wasn't able to answer it because I was taking her vital signs and it will be so rude of me answering private calls, although he left me a very touchy message and almost cried because of laughing out loud!
Then got a text message from my bestfriend confirming that she was in KSA already and enjoying her stay. She also told me that she had a civil wedding before she flew from the Philippines. I was astonished to hear that one of my dear friend got married already! On the other hand, I am happy for her, too because she married that guy that she was with for a very long time!!!.. I mean they had a very long engagement!...They've been a couple since she was in high school... and think of all the years! Mahn! ...And he , too was a really sweet guy and I like him for my friend.
I am starting to wonder and prepare myself because all of my batchmates are starting to get married one by one.... and it's really weird when they ask you when are gonna be the next... it creeps me out! hahaha!!! it's just that I am not seeing anyone right now...hahaha!
My test went well, I'm not really sure though if I will be getting a high grade... I studied within the last minute and I fell asleep while reading one of my books....

good nyt!

Ouch!
I forgot to mention that I hurt my right toes last night. I thought it was not a big deal, but when I woke up this morning, it was painful. I still manage to work while limping.
Tomorrow is Veteran's Day, it is a holiday for most people but not for me. The majority of the class voted to use this day to make up for those days we weren't able to do our clinicals. Also, in my night class, we will going to have a test!...Oh well.....

The story of my weekend
We left home around 4 PM last Friday and it was 5 hour drive to Bakersfield...and driving to Los Angeles was really a headache because of heavy traffic...
I don't really know my friend's father personally because I haven't met him although my dad and mom was his former collegues in college and my brother is his daughter's boyfriend so my family and theirs is somewhat in the middle of a very close family tie. As my friend, Didith started her eulogy, I can't help but to shed tears. At this very moment, I've been thinking of that had happen to me, will I be as strong as she is? ...Being the eldest (here in US, coz her older sister was left in the Philippines), she have to take over with all the responsibilities her father had left, and I really admire her because of her very strong character. As her friend, I promised that I will keep in touch with her from time to time to see how she is doin.
---------------------------------------------

On the other hand, I caught a cold on my way to Bakersfield and it's been bugging me. You know how hard to sleep at night, right? you can't breathe and no matter how hard you try to blow your nose, it still won't come out!
BTW, Lowlah Jary called last night. I was telling her through text messages that her messages for me was weird coz some letters were missing and all you can see was dashes and blanks. Thanks for calling lowlah!....I sounded a little weird, too cause of my cold! Hahaha!!!

----------------------------------------------
Matters of the Heart
We attended a surprise birthday party for one of our church's pastor. And I made baked macaroni as our share for the potluck. I've been cooking a lot lately, maybe to get ready for my future!!! Hahaha!! I'm just kidding! I used to be the cook when we were still in the Philippines, but since we moved here, I've been so lazy when it comes to kitchen because I've been preoccupied with my school and work.
The apple of my eye's sister was there together with her family. Most of the party's attendees were married and I was the only one who was single they were telling me that my baked macaroni was good but I am not qualified to get married yet! Hahaha!And that conversation led to the questioning. How old am I? Do I have a boyfriend? and stuff like that. Times like these is the most uncomfortable for me. People asking personal stuff. Just like last Halloween, asking me if I'm dating someone....I guess, when you reach this certain age, most people expect you to be with someone. Oh well, just need to come up with a very smart answers with their questions...

Good night!

*sigh* I am so lazy to write something about stuff that happened to me...maybe I'm all out of energy after cramming with my presentation....
We are going to have a long weekend but my instructor decided to have us come in on Tuesday which is Veteran's Day (official holiday) to make up with the one whole week that we were off from school because of the firestorm...plus two more extra Mondays to sacrifice!!! (we have a Monday off for our clinicals)
Then tomorrow, I'll be driving to Bakersfield to attend the wake and memorial service of a family friend...and that's 5 hour drive!!! waahhhh!!!!!! We'll be back maybe on Sunday afternoon... so I won't be able to post for a couple of days! Oh well, better get back to what I'm doing!

Our first day of clinicals at Villa Pomerado....
This time, it was harder compared at Casa delas Campanas... most of the patients have tubes and are bedridden...
What I enjoyed most today was the hospital tour!!!! We went to pediatrics...and mahn! I love to be a nurse there!!! taking care of those babies are just enough to make your day!
Besides the babies, there were also cute BIG babies walking along the hallways.. you know what I mean, right? those cute ER guys...and OR guys including those who work at the ICU....I would really love to be assign there one time or even volunteer to help them out!....I will have sooo much fun!!! hahahaha!!!

This migraine is killing me!
aargh... I wish I could bang my head against the wall!!!

It's freezing!!! I am shivering while on my way to the parking lot after class....The days went so fast....It's almost December...got to go now....I still have a report due on Friday with presentation....I will just make tricks in front of the class to make it a lively discussion, what do yah think? hahaha!!!

I am soooo happy!!! I received the confirmation letter about the writing test I took two weeks ago! and guess what??? I PASSED!!!!!! That's the only thing that was holding me get into NURSING SCHOOL...and now that I have it, I am ready to rock and roll!!! Hahaha!!!
I will start tomorrow to gather all the stuff that I need and hopefully, I will start the program by February...I didn't renew my CPR certification because I first made sure I passed this test... I have a different certification though which is not acceptable, but it's not a problem to get the Professional Rescuer from the Red Cross... I also need to behave real good... to get my recommendation letters....
Oh well, my professor is on leave til next week, so I haven't able to talk to her about the stuff we are going to do tomorrow...I am also wondering if we class or maybe a substitute teacher...I hope she gets better soon... I think she caught pneumonia....

Goodnight!

Aarghh!!!!!!!!!! I frequently procrastinate...but this time... I have to...I was too lazy this past week...we don't have school but I spent my week PExing....I can't help myself everytime I go online not to browse through PEx...I keep telling myself that I will just check my emails then go and say BYE... but then... arrrgghhhh!!!
I have to read two books that are due on Tuesday... and because of the firestorm last week I don't know if we're going to have our midterms that same day, following the class schedule...
I have to do my presentation for Friday about the disease I will be reporting, TB...Anyways, I have the internet and I could use that anytime with the help of some of my medical books...The problem here is I have to memorize 70 medical terminologies by Friday..I hope I can do that!

Why...Why... and why.......

*sigh*


On the bright side.... I had a blast last night! I enjoyed giving out candies!!! and eating them , too!!!! no wonder I was not able to get enough sleep last night because of all the caffeine I had in my system..... also, it was my first time to go into the ASTRO JUMP!!! darn!!! it was fun!!! Bouncing back and forth like a kid!!
Then we had KARAOKE....my fave part of the night,,,

I was not able to sing with him... in a duet actually, I don't know where he went... but I felt the "KILIG sensation" when I sang and then saw him staring at me!!!!! (or was I hallucinating??? is he really looking at me that time???) Anyways, we only had a few chitchats when he went into the room, where my churchmates and I were playing XBOX games...

Last night, was really really fun... the child side of me had fun! I miss being a kid!!!